Selling a dead donkey

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."

Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."

The farmer asked: "What you going to do with him?"

Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot -!

to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998.00."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the CEO of the American Energy Company : Enron

chik chik

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly , her husband burst into the kitchen.
'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to
get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt
them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.

Love from the eyes of chemistry

SYMBOL: ILU,143ATOMIC NUMBER:
Not knownATOMIC WEIGHT: Varies from Couple To couple
POSITION ON PERIODIC TABLE: Close To The Heart
OCCURRENCE: Occurs In highly Reactive State, College Compounds, Cinema Halls, Parks and Bus Stops!

METHOD OF PREPARATION: a) By the action of beauty upon heart. An exothermic reaction resulting in the higher rate of blood circulation and faster heart beat!b) By the combination of two complex compounds..commonly known as a Boy and a Girl!

CATALYST USED: Friends, Cousins, Movies, Restaurants and a highly active imagination!REDUCING AGENTS: Parents, Teachers, Neighbors and Society!GIRL + PARENTS ---> EXPLOSION + LOSS OF SALINE WATER FROM TEAR GLANDSBOY + REDUCING AGENT ---> REBELLIONS

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: a) Gas at human temperature
b) COLOUR: Varying shades of Pink
c) ODOUR: Strong enough to sweep one off one's feet

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:a) ACTION ON SCIENTISTS: LOVE + SCIENTIST ---> PHILOSOPHER
b) ACTION ON TEENAGERS: LOVE + TEENAGER ---> POETc) REACTS VIGOROUSLY WITH SUPPRESSIONd) CANNOT BE DISSOCIATED BY USE OF 'SOLID' AND 'BEAT' ENERGYUSES:
a) HELPS IN FOOD ECONOMY: If one is in LOVE... forgets to EAT and DRINK!
b) SMALL AND SUBTLE DOSAGE IS NECESSARY: As it is good for BODY and MIND
c) RAW MATERIAL FOR MOVIE THEME
d) NON-CONVENTIONAL SOURCE OF ENERGYINFERENCE THROUGH 'CHEMISTRY'

I TRIED TO DEFINE LOVE, IT STILL REMAINS UNDEFINED.

Chemistry of LOVE

SYMBOL: ILU,143ATOMIC NUMBER:
Not knownATOMIC WEIGHT: Varies from Couple To couple
POSITION ON PERIODIC TABLE: Close To The Heart
OCCURRENCE: Occurs In highly Reactive State, College Compounds, Cinema Halls, Parks and Bus Stops!

METHOD OF PREPARATION: a) By the action of beauty upon heart. An exothermic reaction resulting in the higher rate of blood circulation and faster heart beat!b) By the combination of two complex compounds..commonly known as a Boy and a Girl!

CATALYST USED: Friends, Cousins, Movies, Restaurants and a highly active imagination!REDUCING AGENTS: Parents, Teachers, Neighbors and Society!GIRL + PARENTS ---> EXPLOSION + LOSS OF SALINE WATER FROM TEAR GLANDSBOY + REDUCING AGENT ---> REBELLIONS

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: a) Gas at human temperature
b) COLOUR: Varying shades of Pink
c) ODOUR: Strong enough to sweep one off one's feet

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:a) ACTION ON SCIENTISTS: LOVE + SCIENTIST ---> PHILOSOPHER
b) ACTION ON TEENAGERS: LOVE + TEENAGER ---> POETc) REACTS VIGOROUSLY WITH SUPPRESSIONd) CANNOT BE DISSOCIATED BY USE OF 'SOLID' AND 'BEAT' ENERGYUSES:
a) HELPS IN FOOD ECONOMY: If one is in LOVE... forgets to EAT and DRINK!
b) SMALL AND SUBTLE DOSAGE IS NECESSARY: As it is good for BODY and MIND
c) RAW MATERIAL FOR MOVIE THEME
d) NON-CONVENTIONAL SOURCE OF ENERGYINFERENCE THROUGH 'CHEMISTRY'

I TRIED TO DEFINE LOVE, IT STILL REMAINS UNDEFINED.

Inzamam

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, goprepare for some standard questions that are asked to them whencommentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won thematch,for which he was not prepared. He always used his standard response tothefirst question after winning.But this time.....
Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for thesecond time and u must be happy!
Inzamam: Bismillah-e-Rehman-e-Rahim!All credit goes to the boys.Everyonework hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in.Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and givinginstructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will worktogetherasa team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time and will be able toREPEAT the same result
Tony fainted